"These fragments I have shored against my ruins" --- T.S Elliott
I was wild with the knowledge that I could do this to her, impact such an unabashedly
sensual woman. The friction of her sex was heightened by the tilt of her ass and when her hips began to undulate, her core clenching, I knew she was close to coming. I pounded my raging cock into her harder and faster, grasping her shoulders and the nape of her neck to immobilize her, my hips bucking. She shrieked as the climax shuddered through her body from head to toe. Tension built, deep at my core and coiled up, arousal mounting inside until finally, without warning, my climax charged up and I lost all control.
“Fuck!” I cursed.
With a guttural moan my orgasm tore through me, and savagery took over. My hips jerked wildly as my cock exploded, and I spurted hot and hard inside her, angling her hips and sinking even deeper so my pulsing cock filled her with cum.
“Give it all to me baby,” she encouraged as her pussy milked every last drop from me.
My entire body quaking with bone-deep shudders spent, I collapsed onto my side, my body quivering in aftershocks, my mouth dry as I tried to catch my breath. She reached around and cupped my face, smiling her sexy, just-for-me smile. Still buried deep inside my Beauty, I leaned down to kiss her.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
The alarm rang again, and I came back from that recollection. The first thing i did was to check for updates on social media, but the first thing to check up on me was a reply message and a voice note from my mother, at first i was surprised how she knew but remembered that i updated a broken heart WhatsApp status, the message reads:
“Know yourself, as for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And baby, I hate to say
it, most of them actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you‟ll never find your soul mate. You‟ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're going to fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your
chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling”
I saved the voice note for later, after reading that message my soul was revived and decided to write another letter to my long lost lover addressing her about how karma can be a bitch and again i did not intend to send it, somehow a satisfaction sense was hitting the more
I wrote those letters, i wrote:
“I remember you, on top of my dome i remember you, and you came like cassper... Fill up my head with some things, i know about you. Let me expose you, fuck you, you got with her she loved you but only if you pay too, price of fame she told you, blood and agony the only currency, she was beautiful like Monalisa but paint unclear pictures, you never took a break even when she played you, you told yourself she care too when you were supposed to
be careful, damn you, nobody pray for you. I wrote this to remind you so use your open mind too, you might not like how i rewind you but you never gave me that so i don‟t mind too. I am reciprocating the energy but if i embarrass you, then only I'll be retaliating. This aren't no war, it's just the truth, i know it can be dangerous it can be raw, you can't just run we aren't made it to the bottom where we started, i trusted, your word when you told me you was with
it, but fuck it, you only had my back enough to stab it.”
After writing that long letter i felt a sense of belonging in the world, the heartache was
starting to defuse, so i woke up, plugged my phone to aux and played that voice note from my mother.
She said,
“You know Hun I'm a bit concerned about this negative tone that I‟m hearing in your voice these days. I can appreciate where your uncertainly stems from and you
have reason to question your anxieties and how disillusioned you feel as well as feeling
sceptical about whom you believe you can trust. But that attitude will just hold you back in this life, and you're going to continue to feel alienated, give some thought to this because I'm confident in you and I know that you can reach your desired destination and accomplish your
goals much more quickly without this confrontation that I'm hearing in your tone these days. When others go low, we go high.”
When my mother said, “When others go low, we go high” that evoked a memory i
had long before i met Beauty. A picture came in mind but it was not so perfect it almost felt like Leonardo Da Vinci lost his brushes painting Monalisa because i couldn‟t even remember a name of girl I met in Durban or she never even told me, those thoughts occupied extremely
my mind, so i included that marvel of a night in my series of medicine letters to help me remember, as i wrote more and more I felt pixels of memories coming together like a gigantic puzzle. I wrote:
“When i saw you in Durban, you said it‟s ok if i touch your thighs. You said its ok if i
suck your titties in fact, she said she love me and she aren‟t just negotiating, i should come to her before she slap me, and its ok if i cum to her if she slept me. She got a different definition she manifest love in mysterious fashion, i don‟t need to know you, how many sins? Have you
killed before? Do you believe in God? She said its lies they just control us, its limits love, don‟t follow rules just roll the dice, you see its life we aren‟t the only ones. Universe is too big for some significance. I only saw her that night but she flashes when i close my eyes cuz, i had the time of my life and now i can write a documentary”
After writing that letter i felt like I was exiting the hospital entering the maximum
prison, i had satisfied myself with the one night stand girl i caught attention of by saying,
“You can have my heart and we could share it like the last slice.” But yet it was not enough because all the affection drama brought back Beauty's memories. That is where i realized that some things are better off forgotten, some not, because that one was stuck on my mind like a
virus on the immune system with no pills and if i kept on ignoring it was going to kill me.
I said, “So what the fuck am i going to do?”
I further said to myself, “I wrote a letter but there‟s no reply and i wrote a song i
haven‟t recorded, the one she heard is the one she mad at…” i said talking to myself out loud.
I wrote her a poem and sent it through WhatsApp. It reads:
“You are the omega of my heart
The foundation for my conception of Love
When I think of what a black woman should be
It is you I First think of
You will never fully understand
How deeply my Heart feels for you
I worry that we‟ll grow apart
And I‟LL end up losing you
You bring me to climax without sex
And you do it all with regal grace
You are my heart in Human Form
A Friend I could never replace.”
After 3 full days of waiting for a response i called it quit, i felt like my lavish work of letters was going down the drain, i felt no satisfaction from it anymore, all the delectation decomposed. The void i was trying to fill all along was enlarged and got bigger by a lack of response from a person who left me because i was not satisfied with the way life played out for me. I felt like i was going back to the beginning where i started, i was boiling Lava inside,
the way i was angry my sigh was a flame of blue fire but i allowed going back to the bottom, the only thing i had left was writing, so i wrote myself another letter with scrutinizes checking all sides and angles i was making sure that every dark deep and shallow memory was illuminated so that i figure out where did i went wrong, i wrote:
“I was 16 when this bitch came to see me, now they got me rapping like a pope
motherfucker i fuck with long dresses like a Rome motherfucker, I was so in love, young
dumb high. We only knew love through smiles, cries, no feelings we in this, let me tell the truth.... Girl i love you i could give up the world, but that changes after you masturbate, I'm
fond of you follow me to the bank, that shit switch up after you get the cake. That's just a human brain. I'm not a human being, i loved you when i had young money, broke as promises, you remember this I‟m only making these similarities cause your promises were like my financial state so i turned military mind state, no feelings. When you started to give a
shit about me i do not give a shit about you, where did we go wrong? You came wrong when you treat me like shit. I don't know this show, this aren't no modicai and rigby! You came as a friend you a lesbi, text me, molest me, now you wanna sex me, undress me test me, hey bitch i aren't sesame I'm quoting i was broken you fix me for that nigga thank you, already with
the 6s, fuck your religion, your pastor fucked the kids, there is a high power nigga believe this, part of the reason you feel a sort of bliss, i aren‟t fucking with you. Picture me with a big dick like a fucking bamboo or just a wet pussy mysterious like a fucking ocean.... Pick, choose only your feelings knows the active vision but at the end we just seeking for pleasure
before the end we shall pay the price... Blood and agony is the only measure, in a way i will find no pleasure in this.”
....... To be continued next Friday
sensual woman. The friction of her sex was heightened by the tilt of her ass and when her hips began to undulate, her core clenching, I knew she was close to coming. I pounded my raging cock into her harder and faster, grasping her shoulders and the nape of her neck to immobilize her, my hips bucking. She shrieked as the climax shuddered through her body from head to toe. Tension built, deep at my core and coiled up, arousal mounting inside until finally, without warning, my climax charged up and I lost all control.
“Fuck!” I cursed.
With a guttural moan my orgasm tore through me, and savagery took over. My hips jerked wildly as my cock exploded, and I spurted hot and hard inside her, angling her hips and sinking even deeper so my pulsing cock filled her with cum.
“Give it all to me baby,” she encouraged as her pussy milked every last drop from me.
My entire body quaking with bone-deep shudders spent, I collapsed onto my side, my body quivering in aftershocks, my mouth dry as I tried to catch my breath. She reached around and cupped my face, smiling her sexy, just-for-me smile. Still buried deep inside my Beauty, I leaned down to kiss her.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
The alarm rang again, and I came back from that recollection. The first thing i did was to check for updates on social media, but the first thing to check up on me was a reply message and a voice note from my mother, at first i was surprised how she knew but remembered that i updated a broken heart WhatsApp status, the message reads:
“Know yourself, as for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And baby, I hate to say
it, most of them actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you‟ll never find your soul mate. You‟ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're going to fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your
chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling”
I saved the voice note for later, after reading that message my soul was revived and decided to write another letter to my long lost lover addressing her about how karma can be a bitch and again i did not intend to send it, somehow a satisfaction sense was hitting the more
I wrote those letters, i wrote:
“I remember you, on top of my dome i remember you, and you came like cassper... Fill up my head with some things, i know about you. Let me expose you, fuck you, you got with her she loved you but only if you pay too, price of fame she told you, blood and agony the only currency, she was beautiful like Monalisa but paint unclear pictures, you never took a break even when she played you, you told yourself she care too when you were supposed to
be careful, damn you, nobody pray for you. I wrote this to remind you so use your open mind too, you might not like how i rewind you but you never gave me that so i don‟t mind too. I am reciprocating the energy but if i embarrass you, then only I'll be retaliating. This aren't no war, it's just the truth, i know it can be dangerous it can be raw, you can't just run we aren't made it to the bottom where we started, i trusted, your word when you told me you was with
it, but fuck it, you only had my back enough to stab it.”
After writing that long letter i felt a sense of belonging in the world, the heartache was
starting to defuse, so i woke up, plugged my phone to aux and played that voice note from my mother.
She said,
“You know Hun I'm a bit concerned about this negative tone that I‟m hearing in your voice these days. I can appreciate where your uncertainly stems from and you
have reason to question your anxieties and how disillusioned you feel as well as feeling
sceptical about whom you believe you can trust. But that attitude will just hold you back in this life, and you're going to continue to feel alienated, give some thought to this because I'm confident in you and I know that you can reach your desired destination and accomplish your
goals much more quickly without this confrontation that I'm hearing in your tone these days. When others go low, we go high.”
When my mother said, “When others go low, we go high” that evoked a memory i
had long before i met Beauty. A picture came in mind but it was not so perfect it almost felt like Leonardo Da Vinci lost his brushes painting Monalisa because i couldn‟t even remember a name of girl I met in Durban or she never even told me, those thoughts occupied extremely
my mind, so i included that marvel of a night in my series of medicine letters to help me remember, as i wrote more and more I felt pixels of memories coming together like a gigantic puzzle. I wrote:
“When i saw you in Durban, you said it‟s ok if i touch your thighs. You said its ok if i
suck your titties in fact, she said she love me and she aren‟t just negotiating, i should come to her before she slap me, and its ok if i cum to her if she slept me. She got a different definition she manifest love in mysterious fashion, i don‟t need to know you, how many sins? Have you
killed before? Do you believe in God? She said its lies they just control us, its limits love, don‟t follow rules just roll the dice, you see its life we aren‟t the only ones. Universe is too big for some significance. I only saw her that night but she flashes when i close my eyes cuz, i had the time of my life and now i can write a documentary”
After writing that letter i felt like I was exiting the hospital entering the maximum
prison, i had satisfied myself with the one night stand girl i caught attention of by saying,
“You can have my heart and we could share it like the last slice.” But yet it was not enough because all the affection drama brought back Beauty's memories. That is where i realized that some things are better off forgotten, some not, because that one was stuck on my mind like a
virus on the immune system with no pills and if i kept on ignoring it was going to kill me.
I said, “So what the fuck am i going to do?”
I further said to myself, “I wrote a letter but there‟s no reply and i wrote a song i
haven‟t recorded, the one she heard is the one she mad at…” i said talking to myself out loud.
I wrote her a poem and sent it through WhatsApp. It reads:
“You are the omega of my heart
The foundation for my conception of Love
When I think of what a black woman should be
It is you I First think of
You will never fully understand
How deeply my Heart feels for you
I worry that we‟ll grow apart
And I‟LL end up losing you
You bring me to climax without sex
And you do it all with regal grace
You are my heart in Human Form
A Friend I could never replace.”
After 3 full days of waiting for a response i called it quit, i felt like my lavish work of letters was going down the drain, i felt no satisfaction from it anymore, all the delectation decomposed. The void i was trying to fill all along was enlarged and got bigger by a lack of response from a person who left me because i was not satisfied with the way life played out for me. I felt like i was going back to the beginning where i started, i was boiling Lava inside,
the way i was angry my sigh was a flame of blue fire but i allowed going back to the bottom, the only thing i had left was writing, so i wrote myself another letter with scrutinizes checking all sides and angles i was making sure that every dark deep and shallow memory was illuminated so that i figure out where did i went wrong, i wrote:
“I was 16 when this bitch came to see me, now they got me rapping like a pope
motherfucker i fuck with long dresses like a Rome motherfucker, I was so in love, young
dumb high. We only knew love through smiles, cries, no feelings we in this, let me tell the truth.... Girl i love you i could give up the world, but that changes after you masturbate, I'm
fond of you follow me to the bank, that shit switch up after you get the cake. That's just a human brain. I'm not a human being, i loved you when i had young money, broke as promises, you remember this I‟m only making these similarities cause your promises were like my financial state so i turned military mind state, no feelings. When you started to give a
shit about me i do not give a shit about you, where did we go wrong? You came wrong when you treat me like shit. I don't know this show, this aren't no modicai and rigby! You came as a friend you a lesbi, text me, molest me, now you wanna sex me, undress me test me, hey bitch i aren't sesame I'm quoting i was broken you fix me for that nigga thank you, already with
the 6s, fuck your religion, your pastor fucked the kids, there is a high power nigga believe this, part of the reason you feel a sort of bliss, i aren‟t fucking with you. Picture me with a big dick like a fucking bamboo or just a wet pussy mysterious like a fucking ocean.... Pick, choose only your feelings knows the active vision but at the end we just seeking for pleasure
before the end we shall pay the price... Blood and agony is the only measure, in a way i will find no pleasure in this.”
....... To be continued next Friday
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